Visit #1

 We saw our girl tonight. We got 1 hour and 15 minutes with her. The best way I can describe the setting, is a prison visit. We got a table with 5 chairs in a common area with other patients and their families. What we brought and what we said was monitored. We were not allowed to discuss numbers of any kind, foods we liked or disliked, any other patients/friends/roommates...and many other things. We're learning the ropes. What a strange feeling to be "policed" with your own child.

That said....our girl looked GOOD. Her skin is clearing and her face had color. She's learning about how to deal with triggers and keep food in to nourish her. The staff is kind. The patients are truly a community. 

We've still got a long way to go, but tonight I left thanking God for this program. In 2 days, she's come farther than she did with 2+ months of outpatient treatment. I believe there is freedom once we've walked this path.

We also had our first "parent therapy" session where we got to connect with other parents with children struggling with severe eating disorders. To connect with others climbing this mountain was so healing.

I have a special guest blogger tonight. Our girl's idential triplet wanted to share her thoughts and feelings about her first visit to the treatment center.,

"My sister and I are identical. It is hard to be the same as someone. We do the same things and we do them together. I've always understood her. Always. I don't understand this disease. It sucks. I was happy I got to see her in person today. Even though I know she needs it, it is hard to see her so sad...BUT...my sister is more herself than she has been in months. I saw joy. She seemed better...that's the only way I can put it. She knew why she was there and what she wanted. Before treatment she got to a place where she wouldn't voice her opinion or stand up for herself. She has direction now. She is learning her limits again and will say "no" when she means no.

I hate not knowing any of her friends at treatment. I know she can't tell us because of legal implications but it's hard.

My sister and I tell eachother everything.I know she wants to tell me about her new friends, but she can't. It isn't her choice.

She said when I got there tonight that she wanted to switch places with me. Make me stay there and she could sneak out. That was really hard to hear. I don't want to leave her in a place she is so sad....but she is doing so well. She's amazing! I don't feel overwhelming sadness like I thought I would because she looks so good! I only wish we could see her every day"

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Changes

 It's been a while since my last update. Partially because we've been busy putting new processes and habits into place and partially because it's taken a lot of energy to adjust to our new normal. Leah is determined, strong and getting healthier by the day. We're insanely proud of her drive. Right now, she is attending treatment 5x a week onsite. Soon, she'll be back to school and attending late afternoon/early evening group sessions. Her physical health has restored beautifully. I'd like to focus this post on emotional health because somedays we're great; and somedays I feel unrecognizable, even to myself.  I'm an extreme extrovert, yet social experiences that used to bring me immense joy feel tough for reasons I am not even sure I can explain. Somedays my heart and head feel so heavy, they're grounded. On the floor.  I feel like a worm, inching forward by only the energy I can muster in my toes. I tell myself that's okay, I am STILL MOVING FORW...
Read more

We Survived!

 The year of 2023, for the Jonswold Fam, has been a repeat of the phrase, "You seriously can't make this shit up."  If it wasn't traumatizing, it would be comical.  We've dealt with heartbreaking conflict and dissolution of a fiercely loved community, mono and covid, unexpected death, guardianship, a heart attack, our first (and hopefully last!) ride in an ambulance, a concussion/brain injury, kidney stones, Ed...and this week our sweet Golden Retriever Sailor was mauled by the foster dog of a dear friend of ours and spent the night before Christmas Eve in the emergency vet. Other than a missing ear, our 12 year old champion has fully recovered, but I'll tell you what, It might take me a while longer. Like one of my favorite musicians, Luke Combs says, "When it rains, it pours."  This post is not meant to depress you, but to say, "You aren't alone!" I think often times, we feel like we have to mask our pain and our feelings to the world...
Read more

Broken

Words can't describe today. If they could, the closest ones would be hell, broken, shattered and just downright shitty. Our girl knows she needs help, but leaving her alone today, terrified and tear-filled, is something no parent should have to do. EVER. Many are wondering about today...what does the day look like? (I know I was before we survived it) We arrived at 7:30 AM with 3 clear boxes of "pre-approved belongings." A staff member took the belongings and checked and inventoried them. At the same time, they escorted us to a private family room. Over the next 5 hours, we met with the care team. Nurse, dietician, therapist, psychologist, case manager. With each new person we met, we told our story. What does a typical day of eating look like? When did this start? What are your triggers? How many times a day do you purge?  Question after question after question.... At noon it was time for hy husband and me to leave. The staff gave us 10 minutes alone to "say our goo...
Read more