Jeremiah 29:11


Today was hard, but brighter than the day before.
As I shared, yesterday was our 19th wedding anniversary. Today, I couldn't help but reflect on how far we've come from the bright eyed babies we were when we wed. Part of the prayer prayed over us before we were pronounced husband and wife was "Jesus, may Peter and Ali depend on you each day for what comes their way and may they walk together, hand in hand, rooted in your love."

Gotta be honest with you...I thought pain was for other people. Our love was strong enough to withstand any storm. Those other couples might have trouble, but we've got this marriage thing in the bag. EASY!

Guess what, life's often gonna rock you!

We went through infertility. 
IVF. 
Finally got pregnant - with TRIPLETS. 
Laid flat in a hospital bed for 97 days (I won't even share what Peter had to do to help me through that!)
Gave birth to 3# preemies.
Lost our only source of income in '08 the month the girls turned 1.
Didn't sleep for 5 years.... (HA!)

And now, our baby girl is in treatment for an eating disorder, which we tried SO hard to model good behavior to avoid. How did this happen? 

We don't have a reason, but we do have hope. Solid belief in the same hope we've held since those marriage vows nearly 20 years ago.

We also have learned how to let the other one grieve. Peter and I grieve very differently. In our early marriage, I didn't understand that. I thought he didn't care if he didn't act the way he "should." He dives into projects - anything he can physically do to help "fix it." I lose my breath, cry, lose all energy and get my feelings out through writing. In this storm, I know and respect that difference, even though I often have to remind myself what grief looks like for Peter.

We may grieve differentlky, but we both put our hope in Jesus, who really shows up in mysterious ways sometimes. When you least expect it. In ways you couldn't have planned better.

Each of our girls was dedicated with a Bible verse; specifically chosen for her. They know their verse and why it was chosen. We'll often ask the girls, "Do you know your verse?" and they'll repeat it back. It's a special "I love you" specifically for them.

Leah's verse is Jeremiah 29:11: For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Her verse means a lot to her. It means a lot to us.

Guess what was printed on on the door of her treatment "dorm room?" A non-faith affiliated organization housing teens from all over the United States - from all walks of life, which we had ZERO access to.

Jeremiah 29:11

God's holding our girl, even when we can't. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Changes

 It's been a while since my last update. Partially because we've been busy putting new processes and habits into place and partially because it's taken a lot of energy to adjust to our new normal. Leah is determined, strong and getting healthier by the day. We're insanely proud of her drive. Right now, she is attending treatment 5x a week onsite. Soon, she'll be back to school and attending late afternoon/early evening group sessions. Her physical health has restored beautifully. I'd like to focus this post on emotional health because somedays we're great; and somedays I feel unrecognizable, even to myself.  I'm an extreme extrovert, yet social experiences that used to bring me immense joy feel tough for reasons I am not even sure I can explain. Somedays my heart and head feel so heavy, they're grounded. On the floor.  I feel like a worm, inching forward by only the energy I can muster in my toes. I tell myself that's okay, I am STILL MOVING FORW...
Read more

We Survived!

 The year of 2023, for the Jonswold Fam, has been a repeat of the phrase, "You seriously can't make this shit up."  If it wasn't traumatizing, it would be comical.  We've dealt with heartbreaking conflict and dissolution of a fiercely loved community, mono and covid, unexpected death, guardianship, a heart attack, our first (and hopefully last!) ride in an ambulance, a concussion/brain injury, kidney stones, Ed...and this week our sweet Golden Retriever Sailor was mauled by the foster dog of a dear friend of ours and spent the night before Christmas Eve in the emergency vet. Other than a missing ear, our 12 year old champion has fully recovered, but I'll tell you what, It might take me a while longer. Like one of my favorite musicians, Luke Combs says, "When it rains, it pours."  This post is not meant to depress you, but to say, "You aren't alone!" I think often times, we feel like we have to mask our pain and our feelings to the world...
Read more

Broken

Words can't describe today. If they could, the closest ones would be hell, broken, shattered and just downright shitty. Our girl knows she needs help, but leaving her alone today, terrified and tear-filled, is something no parent should have to do. EVER. Many are wondering about today...what does the day look like? (I know I was before we survived it) We arrived at 7:30 AM with 3 clear boxes of "pre-approved belongings." A staff member took the belongings and checked and inventoried them. At the same time, they escorted us to a private family room. Over the next 5 hours, we met with the care team. Nurse, dietician, therapist, psychologist, case manager. With each new person we met, we told our story. What does a typical day of eating look like? When did this start? What are your triggers? How many times a day do you purge?  Question after question after question.... At noon it was time for hy husband and me to leave. The staff gave us 10 minutes alone to "say our goo...
Read more