I Want to Quit

 It's 5:30 AM on Saturday morning and I am up. I can't sleep because my heart hurts. Like, I literally feel physical, debilitating pain.

I can’t breathe.

My arms are empty, and I would give anything to hold my girl. I NEED to hold her. I want to run across town and tell them I quit. Give her back. It’s too hard. I thought I could do it, but I can’t. I CAN’T!

By some stroke of luck, Peter and I have these moments on reverse timing. Thank God or we'd both surely be in strait jackets. We’re not even 1 week in.

Mid-next week we should have a projected date to bring her home, I need that date. I need that hope, I need an ending -  because right now, it feels unbearable.

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