Bright Days

 We were able to visit with our girl for 1 hour and 15 minutes Saturday, Sunday and Monday. She had a good few days, so I had a good few days. (Funny how parenting works like that!)

She often talks about the people at the program (not by name - but in general terms). She praises their kindness and connection. We were able to bring one of her friends down with us Sunday night. It was fun to see her experience a bit of normal - talking about all the school gossip. :)

Gotta be honest, I am scared for Christmas....but it is coming none the less. There is a chance she would be moved to "Level 2" meaning she no longer has to do things like take the elevator instead of the stairs (right now, she's not allowed to walk even one flight of stairs) It would also mean she could get a 2 or 3 hour "pass" for Christmas. We live about 35-40 minutes away from her treatment program, which leaves her actually at home for a very short period of time before we have to bring her back. (Cue: heartbreak) But at least she'll be able to lay in her own bed and love up Sailor and Calvin.

We are praying for "graduation" to Level 2. We will find out Wednesday. Not only is it one step closer to home, but it also shows her she's making progress and keeps her heart filled with hope. Level 2 is achieved with meal compliance (eating all meals and keeping them in), supporting other clients and being positive and stable physical health.

If you are a prayer, we'd love to ask for you to join us in the following requests:

  • Graduation to Level 2 - IF she is truly ready
  • Successful home visits (no set-backs being away from the program)
  • Peace in our hearts - particularly on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day
  • A good, happy, "normal" Christmas for our other two kids
  • Hope in our girl's heart to continue the fight, even when she is weary
  • The staff at the program. (This program, for us, has been an absolute God-send. We are grateful for the counselors, dieticians, nurses, doctors, other residents - everyone. I often think back to the story of the house; the girl it was named after. She died because she had no one to help her fight her disease. Because of her legacy, we have HELP!)
I'd like to leave you today with three quotes. One from Anna, who the program is dedicated to...one from her dad, and one from her doctor. All very much speak to my heart.

“I am scared to death about what’s going on right now. I can’t have any control over my own mind. As much as I know what I need to do it’s so hard to. My moods are very extreme. One minute I’ll be depressed, then another, something will make me happy again.” - Anna

"It was like I really believed that somehow, she could just decide not to do this anymore. And then I would realize later on that I was wrong. And it was a hard disease to understand - to not feel like this person, if they just had enough willpower, enough courage, and, enough-something, that they can just will themselves out of it. And it's not that type of a disease." - Mark

"They're family illnesses by and large. They impact much more than just the individual that struggles personally with the eating disorder, and so the chaos and the dysfunction that develops in families surrounding this illness can be devastating to families. - Dr. Janrus

We are sad, but we are not devastated. We have hope and eachother. We have support from the program and support from our amazing community. We have a God who is wrapping us tight in His arms and walking beside us each step of the way.

I remember when the girls were born. The feeling of becoming a first time parent. I literally could not fathom the love I had for them... My heart could have burst wide open! How does someone love like this?? It's overwhelming! That day, God spoke so clearly to me. He said, "Yes, and I love YOU even more." 

Mic drop.

He reminds me of that when when this journey shatters me, I'm not alone. I have a Father in Heaven walking each step with me...and with her.
He loves our girl more than we can comprehend. He's got this and He's got us.

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